Missy: What is sex? (she really looked innocent and i knew we had to keep it that way.) Ok well, i can always check the meaning in the little dictionary in my house(still looking innocent)
Tej: (oh God give me wisdom! and she has a dictionary!) Ehmmn(very gingerly) well. Sex actually has 2 meanings. It can be a noun and a verb. A noun when you want to know a person's gender...
Missy: Whether the person is male or female?
Tej: Yes. Male or female, boy or girl. It can also be a verb. An action.
Missy: What action?
Tej: An action that happens between a man and a woman ( spiritual hands together in silent prayer: no more question on this)
Missy: Ok...what is the action?
Tej: (oh God give me wisdom! and she has a dictionary!) Ehmmn(very gingerly) well. Sex actually has 2 meanings. It can be a noun and a verb. A noun when you want to know a person's gender...
Missy: Whether the person is male or female?
Tej: Yes. Male or female, boy or girl. It can also be a verb. An action.
Missy: What action?
Tej: An action that happens between a man and a woman ( spiritual hands together in silent prayer: no more question on this)
Missy: Ok...what is the action?
Tej: The Action is something a man and a woman, who are married, do together.
Missy: Okkk, but, WHAT is it?
Tej: Sweetie, i am not sure you'd understand it even if i tried to explain it to you right now and i don't want to confuse you, so i promise, we'll talk about this when you are much older ok?
Missy: OK! (seeming satisfied with the response) so you mean blood will come out from my bum-bum?! (suddenly makes a Tom&Jerry-on-fire face)
Tej: Yes lol
Missy: Aaah! my bum-bum?! blood and pooo???!
Tej: Ok, let me explain sweetie: Every woman has 3 holes around her bum-bum, 1 at the back for poo and 2 in front. Now in front there is a tiny one with which you wee-wee (at this point her face is all serious and attentive as this information sinks in) and the other one where the blood will come out from...
Missy: Wow.
Tej: Yep. and that is why you should not allow anybody to touch you there ok?
Missy: Ok
Tej: If ANYONE tries to touch you there you must scream, shout, kick or bite the person if you have to ok?
Missy: Ok aunty
Tej: Not everybody who claims to like you is nice ok? some of them are really sick and may want to do waht older people do with you. And that is not right ok baby? That will hurt you real bad and i don't want that to happen to you ok?
Missy: Ok ( looking really sober now)
Tej: Also, don't let anyone play roughly with you by holding you too close or touching you here (pointing at her chest) Make sure yyou report anyone who tries it ok?
Missy: Ok
Tej: You make sure you tell me or your mum or your dad or your granma ok. Don't EVER be afraid ok? You know why?
Missy: Why? (looking every inch the child she really is)
Tej: Because we love you baby. We love you no matter what. Ok baby?
Missy: Ok aunty (she winds her arms around me and we snuggle)
It was a beautiful moment.
Tej: Ok baby, thats it. Any questions for me?
Missy: Uh uh (scrambling to her feet she turns back to her usual bubbly playful self, hoping out of my room) Thank you aunty funmi.
Tej: You're welcome baby!
It was a bit of a difficult moment especially at start-off, but when you have a growing child who isn't always under your watchful eyes, for their own safety you have to equip them with information. Information brings knowledge and with knowledge comes salvation.
Few months down the line now, in a house full of men of different ages, my 8yr old Missy commands respect. She is a lady who does not dress up in the presence of a man and neither does she suffer kindly any "accidental" touch. You can tell by the look in her eyes she is aware of herself and her surroundings. And the best part is: she is not afraid.
In the end i guess i can say that it was worth the Talk.
